**suicide ⚠️ ** did I do the right thing??
Today I think I witnessed a suicide. I say ‘think’ because I’m not sure if he survived or not the bridge isn’t that high I’d say maybe 5-10m and falling feet first which he did I don’t know if it would’ve killed him. I’m feeling like a really shitty person because I didn’t do anything about it. And I can’t help but replay the moment over and over and feel like if I had done this or done that maybe it could be different. So basically hubs and I were spring cleaning and our 1 year old was getting too busy for us to keep our eyes on so I strapped him and off we went to his grandmas (husbands mum) it’s only like a 7min drive from our house. I have to drive over a bridge at some point and as I was there was a young about 16 year old boy looking over the rail and I just had a bad feeling come across me, so I kept an eye on him as I drove past and basically as soon as I drove past he looked up the jumped over the rail and held onto the rail then just disappeared, I felt absolutely sick and called my husband and calm me down, I dropped my boy off and was there for no longer than 5mins then hit the road back home again as I was approaching the bridge I was praying for no emergency services to be there so that maybe he didn’t have intentions of wanting to fall. But sure enough as I get closer I see lights flashing in the distance and I instantly start hyperventilating, I can’t breathe. I instantly call mum and tell her what’s happened to keep me calm til I get home as soon as I pull into the drive I just cry and hubby comes running out as he knows what it would be about, he opens the door and I go into a full blown panic attack, I’ve never experienced something like it I’m usually a super chill, calm person but I just lost it. I could breathe, was shaking literally crying uncontrollably. I just kept thinking that it was someone’s son, and how I would feel if it was my son. I keep replaying the moment in my head, I could’ve stopped on the bridge but I could’ve risked someone ramming into the back of me and putting my son in danger of being hurt or I could’ve pulled over after the bridges but by the time I could’ve pulled over and run over I most likely would’ve witnessed him fall. I just feel so horrible and I’m probably rambling and making no sense but I’m just so upset not only for the boy but because I can’t help but feel maybe I could’ve done something. Hubby has been amazing but I don’t know if what I did was right. I need to know from someone who doesn’t know me tell me straight.