Miscarriages are cruel. They steal your hopes and dash your dreams. They silence you with shame and regret. They make you feel unworthy of the gift of motherhood that comes so freely to others. They make you second-guess every decision and fill future pregnancies with dread. They are unkind and unpredictable. And they lie.

If you have never had a miscarriage then you probably don’t know what it’s like to go to the bathroom every 20 mins just to make sure you aren’t spotting. I drink water like it’s nobody’s business so I have a reason to be in the bathroom. You might not know what it’s like to wear a panty liner every single day and pray to god or whatever it is you believe in that there is not a single thing there when you look down. When you have never had a miscarriage or several in my case you might not freak out as much with every cramp you feel. Or wonder if you vacuuming and cleaning the shower should wait another day or two because you owe it to your body to rest. When you have had a miscarriage those next few weeks or even days to test levels go by so incredible slow. And then the days and weeks leading up to an ultra sound are painful. Just this week alone I have spent $45 on pregnancy tests. I take 1 a day because I want to be sure that pink line is not fading. And then when it doesn’t get darker after a day or 2 you freak out for that reason.

My body is strong, my body will continue to

Keep my baby safe and I will have a healthy, happy 9 months ahead 🌈💜🌈