Miscarriage in March 2018 (first pregnancy) and now trying to conceive. Has anyone found that the sadness from the miscarriage just comes pouring back when you start ttc again?

I think having af turn up while passing the date which would have been my baby’s birthday is just really sad. Sad and angry. I find myself again wondering whether I had a little boy or a little girl. What could have been. Where we’d be now.