So depressed

My boyfriend and I just lost our newborn at 10 days old due to an unexpected illness. I can’t stop thinking about having another baby. We were so ready to expand our family and my daughter loved being a big sister. It’s all I think about, I would do anything to be pregnant again. It’s the only thing that can help me heal right now but my boyfriend wants to wait a couple years. He said yes to it at first and then decided we should probably wait. He said if it happens then it happens so he isn’t even completely against it. He wants to pack up all the baby stuff and I don’t want to yet. I don’t know what to do 😔 I won’t feel better until I have a baby in my arms.