I recently remembered I was r*ped by my ex. I repressed it, taking months for me to remember how forceful and uncomfortable it was. I also didn’t realize I could be r*ped by a woman. I was seeing a guy when I remembered the r*pe. We almost had sex and I had a panic attack. My heartbeat was fast and I was short of breath like when my ex r*ped me. I remembered the experience with her for what it was a week later. I miss sex, but I’m terrified of it. I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack next time I have sex. I hate myself so much for feeling this way. I feel alone and abnormal, like part of me is missing and I have to struggle so much to get it back. Being r*ped is also disillusioning for my identity and preferences as a bisexual woman. Please help.