My fiance and I have a darling little boy who is 3 years old and I have 2 older children (11yr old girl and a 5 yr old boy) from a previous marriage. My fiance and I have always talked about having more children but when our little one was 6 months old he was diagnosed with infantile spasms which is a rare form of epilepsy. Well we were lucky and were able to control his seizure very quickly but he does have global developmental delays. He is at about half his age developmental but has been seizure free (to the very best of our knowlage) for nearly 2 and a half years. Since he has been doing so well we decided to try for another baby. I had my IUD taken out at the end of August and we started trying right away. Well low and behold our little one started having seizures again and on October 26 we had the most scary seizure experiences. After 3 and a half stressful days in the hospital my fiance and I talked and felt maybe it would be best not to have any more children. At that point I was a day late and a tiny part of me hoped maybe I was pregnant. Now fast forward to today and I have now become very hopeful that I was pregnant because I have already been feeling a few symptoms. I'm so torn, part of my knows it would be so difficult to care for a newborn when my little guy is potentially having issues that need my full attention; but the other part of me is completely heartbroken knowing I may never experience being pregnant again or holding a beautiful little baby for the first time. I love being a mother more than anything in the world.