Long story short 😏

I have a 20 mo son. I found out 6 months ago his dad had been cheating our entire.relationship. I mentally have come a long way but there have been many hiccups. I had a misscarriage/ other traumatic events / dealing with anxiety and depression / my son is pretty high needs and requires a lot of attention and stimulation he is not an easy baby that just anyone can watch. Ive had people watch him in the past when he was an infant and they complained how much he cries and whatnot. Its just his temperament. Anyways i am a SAHM. Me and my son have an apartment his dad currently pays my bills and supports us financially. I have no one to baby sit my son. I do not talk to my family nor do i have support from them. His dad works regular long hours so i cant just go to a dr apt or do stuff i need during the day. I really need to get a job and gain independence to break away from him because since he pays my bills he can treat me whatever way he wants and it isn't good he is emotionally abusive to me. How can i go to a job interview with no one to watch my child? Really wtf do i do. Im overwhelmed i don't even know what steps to take to get to a better place in life everything feels like an endless helpless cycle. Any advice or support is welcome.