To much arguing


Ok so after i got done reading this i realized it’s quite long. So thank you if you actually read it all and give me your true honest advice. It was just super late and I’m just looking for some advice.

I always argue with my boyfriend. Like i always start the arguments and it’s got to be about the littlest things. Like him not washing a dish. I mean i dont want to get mad at him over it, but i just do. Some days I feel like it’s not going to work out, but then I realize woah really over a dish you think it’s not going to work out. Like there’s days he will show me affection and i never want it, but then a couple mins later i want the attention. Like what tf is wrong with me. I never was like this. Like i always wanted his love and attention and now i show to him I don’t want it but deep down i do want the love. I’ve tried really hard (maybe not hard enough in his eyes) but i feel like I’ve tried to change into the person i was before and i cant. I really do miss the good smiling moments we had together and I want those back. Like i hate the new me i really do, before i actually was calm and loving. My temper was calmer and people actually like me more. I cry every time I say this type of stuff in my head but I know it’s true. Ok i get people change into them real selves after a certain amount of time but I’m not like this, deep down i know im not.