On October 18, my husband and I had a medical termination after our 12w4d baby boy was deemed “incompatible with life” (we learned the day before the 12w ultrasound that he was a boy without any chromosomal defects from our panorama). I was expecting to go get a nice profile picture of my baby boy after the panorama results were good. During my 12w ultrasound, we were told that the baby had Acrania/anencephaly and was not compatible with life. We terminated in order to begin healing. This is the worst mental anguish I’ve ever felt. I know I didn’t cause this condition, but the feeling of losing this baby that I wanted so much is crushing to my spirit. Our first child.

I’m on 4x the recommended folic acid and my doctor said I could try again after one menstrual period. However, my husband and I agreed to wait until the new year. I’m so afraid that this will happen again or that I’m not meant to be a mother.

I also learned I am homozygous for MTHFR. I had no issues getting pregnant and I’m hoping the extra folic acid is enough next time around. My gyno is regularly reassuring me that I can and will have healthy children. This was just a “fluke.” Still, I blame myself. I blame my body and it’s hard to feel like I’m not responsible in some way.

Any comfort or stories of successful pregnancies following a NTD d&c would be so welcome

Update: I’m happy to report that after another loss in May following the anencephaly pregnancy (missed miscarriage at 8 weeks), we welcomed a baby boy at 35 weeks gestation in December 2020. After a week in the NICU for being a late term preemie, he was able to come home to us and is doing well.