It’s happening again. The pain of still no BFP..

I feel like I go through these phases of peace in my life. Where I can BD and just live life. Trying and trying but while being mostly stress free. Then I hit these phases of lows where I just feel so hopeless and frustrated and hurt. I just want a baby. The upcoming holidays feel all the more burdensome because still no baby. And I have to sit back and watch as my friends and family prepare for their growing families holiday traditions. Ugh! Where is my BFP!?!