Fostering?

Question

My husband and I have been through a rocky first year. Literally a week and a half before our year wedding anniversary we found out we were pregnant and had a miscarriage two days later. We always talked about fostering and adoption after we had one of our own as my husband doesn’t have children but I have a son from a previous marriage. Today in Mass there was a guy talking about fostering and adoption. They have a group named the call talking in a few weeks. I just looked at my husband and he looked at me. After a lot of thought and prayer we are really contemplating the idea of fostering. We don’t really have friends or family that have adopted so I was wondering if anyone had advice on fostering?

Answer

Hi! I’m a single foster mom. I’ve had my first placement for 5 weeks now. He is 3 months old. 
My suggestion would be for you both to go to orientation and then to take the class. I’d also recommend that you do research on which agency would be best for you. 
I went to a couple of orientations and then decided that I wanted to go through my county, rather than with a private agency. The private agency made the orientation look like a commercial (rainbows and unicorns) and the county’s was brutal and, I felt, more realistic, scary and more honest. The class is state regulated and is the same whether going through social services or a private agency. FYI, I’m in NY. 
At the time of certification, like you I had dealt with losses (I am so sorry, I know your pain too well).  I was assigned a “home finder” the individual who would finalize our home study and certification, and eventually place this baby in my home. During our conversations, I expressed that my goal would be to adopt through the foster care system. My home finder is quite understandable and because of my situation told me she would place only chid(ren) who would most likely be freed for adoption, though she explained at length that nothing is ever a guarantee. 
To give you an idea of time line. The MAPP class started in October and ended in December 2017. By March, or April 2018 we were certified. I broke off my engagement, but decided to continue the fostering journey as a single parent. This was not an issue for the county. I informed them of the decision over the summer. By early fall I had a call, but it fell through, family members stepped forward. By late October I had a second call to take in a baby. The plan was for removal to occur at birth. The judge ordered otherwise. What I learned is to not stop living my life because calls often happen, but placements may not for various reasons, and this can take a serious emotional toll on you. 
Finally 12/21 I got a call for that same baby (born 8 weeks earlier) and 2.5 hrs after the call he was with me. I was in shock for days. 
I don’t know what will happen. He is not a drug baby, but his mother is not mentally fit. Regardless, we will have to go through all the motions and see what happens. Many people have said to me “I hope that you get to keep him, it would be so good for you” I kindly remind them that the goal here is to do what is good/ best for him. I know that he could be reunified (with any fit blood relative)at any point, and that this could be devastating. I remind myself that if that’s the case, I provided him with the safest and most loving environment when he needed it most. 
This has been a huge adjustment, but I’m learning as I go. I will be returning to work soon and I know that things will get more challenging but every time he looks and smiles at me, or falls asleep in my arms, happy and healthy I remember this is why I’m doing this. So, I take it one day at a time... 
there is so much more I could tell... but I think this is already long enough :)
I used to be on FB, you may want to search and find some fostering support groups in there, they’re a great resource. Also, check locally to see if you can network, it’s amazing to have people who have walked in your shoes. 
Best of luck

Answer

My husband and I are almost fully licensed as foster parents (wanting to adopt). our final home study is on Tuesday, our nursery is set up and our PRIDE classes are the next 2 Saturdays. We are so excited and hope to get a call in the near future! Good luck to you guys if you decide to start the journey!

Answer

My husband and I are doing our first orientation on the 10th of December.

Fostering?

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