Evil Stepmom???

Question

So guys i really need some advice.
Backstory: 
I've been with my husband for 8 years, he has a 10 year old son. We have a 4 year old daughter and I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant. 
This is why i don't like him. At all. So he would always ignore my daughter when she'll ask him to play with her or any question. He would take her toys away JUST to make her mad. He even goes as far as saying my husband was HIS dad first. It's literally so annoying and I'm tired of him treating my daughter this way. Am i exaggerating? My husband says they're "just kids" and we are constantly fighting because of his son making my daughter feel belittled. 
So.. His son started living with us as soon as his babymama noticed that I was pregnant. 
We moved into this beautiful 3 bedroom modern townhome. As soon as we moved I figured he would move back with his mom so immediately I decorated the nursery in one room, decorated our daughters room, and ours. Well i was wrong because he came with us. Not only did he end up moving in the nursery, but all of my babys clothes was scattered all over the floor to make room for his clothes. He has this sort of anger towards my husbands family growing. He will act so spoiled and my husband will obey his every need. Im so tired of him and yes i am going as far as saying that i hate him. It's not just my hormones. Its a real problem.
What do I do? What CAN I do? Am i being mean? Am i the evil stepmom? Do i need jesus? H E L P.

Answer

I think there is some communication issues clearly between the parents. Talk to your husband which is what you should have done before decorating the nursery to know whether the son was coming or not. Also, with you being married he’s your son too. Sounds like it’s a mix of hormones and lack of communication. One more thing, maybe you should try having 1 on 1 time with the son. Right now, you’re being the evil step mother...yes! How can you hate your child sibling.

Answer

I think some family therapy might help.  It sounds like he has some issues from years ago that weren't addressed, and possibly made worse by his bio mom if she resents you.

Answer

Oh man and he’s only 10!!! Hasn’t even hit the teenage years. Does he spend time with his mom? Never know she might be feeding on to it.

Answer

Coming from a child of divorce, it’s really really hard in the kids. Try and put yourself in his shoes. His parents are split up. His dad marries a new lady and makes two babies with her and where does that leave him? I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong. But my stepmom resented me my whole life, since I was 5...I’m 37 and she still refuses to have anything to do with me. I was 5 when they got together! I don’t know all your dynamics, but I’m just speaking on behalf of knowing what it’s like to be in the middle of it all. Maybe try and spend some one on one time with him. He’s clearly dealing with some emotional issues, and likely due to the divorce. I was three when my parents got divorced, but have memories from that time. Don’t be like my evil stepmom and hate him forever.  Remember he’s just a kid, his brain is still developing. I saw another poster suggest family counseling; couldn’t hurt to try. Your husband probably caters to him because he feels bad and doesn’t know what else to do. I agree with another poster on communication. Try and figure out a way to communicate with him and his mom, and that way you won’t have to be dealing with this for the rest of your life basically. I don’t mean any of this in a harsh or judgey way, and I’m sure your not anything like my horrid stepmom (I call her my dad’s wife). Good luck! Don’t give up on him!

Answer

I have had days where I have wanted to cry because my stepdaughter acts spoiled. We have custody but she has visitation two weekends of the month. When she comes back she’s bratty and rude. I used to be loving and fun with her because I just influenced her and she was not perfect but she didn’t expect us to buy her toys or to have everything she wanted, just what she needed. Now I’m more stern which breaks my heart, but that being said she’s always been an amazing big sister. Until today, she intentionally put her brothers hand under her chair and sat on the chair to hurt him. I nearly lost it, but you have to understand children are just that and they will push their boundaries, your husband and you have to put up walls. And set what is right and what isn’t. As for the rooms you should want to incorporate all the children, when we look for homes I’m thinking let’s give all kids their own room and even if one day she were to live with her mom(I pray that never happens) she would have her own. You have to love them because you married their father and hopefully loved them when you made the choice to get married. It isn’t easy but you are strong and it’s not just you that has to do the work with him. You and your husband have to calmly explain it could hurt her feelings if things are said a certain way. But my siblings were full blooded and they said plenty of things that hurt me. Kids are mean. Just remember that and try to be there for him as much as you are for your daughter. Maybe give him and his father a day out each month? He might need to see he’s still loved.

Answer

You're not evil at all! I definitely think you need to have a one on one with your husband and step son. You need to tell your husband that you want to talk and tell him exactly how you feel (in a way a child would understand). And tell your husband not to interrupt and same with the kid. Then let whoever take turns speaking next. I definitely think that at 10, he needs to be set in his place. He's old enough and he can communicate for himself too. It also sounds like his mom is super manipulative for doing that right after she found out you were pregnant. I don't think you should have to give up you're nursery for the step son. I would see about who gets full custody or partial if that's not decided yet. You're not evil and have every right to be upset! I definitely think you guys need to communicate though. And if your step son is acting towards your daughter this way, you need to put him in his place. Be "evil step mom" in his eyes. You're the parent not him and he seems to walk all over you. Don't let him.

Evil Stepmom???

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