What would you do? Has this happened to you?

Question

Ive been talking to this guy since febuary this year, i have a 1 year old son, (sperm donor isnt in our lives) but this guy is literally perfect and im positive hes my other half and hes the one i want to grow old with. 
He says hes not ready for the responsibilities that come with having a kid. And im definitley not asking him to be the dad or anything right now. He says hes not ready for the responsibilities because hes scared about being a dad and such, and i have no doubt in the world he wouldnt be hands down the best dad ever. He says he loves my son as his own and wants to be apart of his life and one day be the dad my son deserves. Im willing to wait as long as i have to until hes comfortable with the idea of being a dad. 
When i mention this to someone though they tell me to find someone else thats ready for the responsibility of having me and my son to be in a relationship with. "The right guy would want the responsibilities right off the bat" etc. Stuff like that. Well hes told me why hes not ready for that responsiblity yet and i completely understand, it kinda hurts but for right now and for a while he will only be a friend to my son. And hes no where near lazy.
I just want to know if anyones had this before? Did you guys end up together? Did he eventually want to have the responsibilities? How lomg did you wait for your man to be resdy to take on being more than a friend to your little one? 
Also anonymous because there are people on here i dont want knowing its me. Thanks!
----------------------------update 
Im reading all your guys comments and thank you for all your advice and support. He says he isnt ready to be a dad at the the moment but when hes ready he will be more than likely to be my sons dad and have him be the person he looks up too
------------------------------- update
Hes 21 and im 19! He is very involved. He asks about him and talks about him and talks to him when we video chat and stuff! 💕 i do really love this man hes so gosh dang perfect he breaks my perfect scale!! Ive never met anyone like him!!

Answer

I agree with the persons advice. You and your son are a package deal. He cannot have you and not your son. He isn’t ready to be a father, well then he has zero business being in a relationship with someone who has a child. There are plenty of good men out there who are either already fathers who who would love to be one.

Answer

You're friends are right. He isn't ready and you are. You'll find someone that immediately wants to be a family not later, not in a bit, not when I'm ready... immediately.

Answer

I don’t see anything wrong with this. Depending on your ages. I’ve dated men with children for long periods and they never expected me to step into the parent role for a while. They actually decided to keep it as a “friend” . If you love the man and you trust and believe he is going to come around when he is ready then stick by him! Your other half doesn’t come around often. I think it would be one thing if he wanted nothing to do with your son. However it sounds like he’s involved and great but just doesn’t feel ready for the “dad” role. But why should he be ready for it? It’s not his child. I’d say give it time and follow your heart! Love wins! Good luck!

Answer

Never dealt with this but ur friend is right. U don’t want to introduce any man to ur child specially if he’s gona be a “friend” like no wtf. Ur son will friends at day care and school smh! He gotta go, girl ! Yes u will find someone who will want to be there for the both of u.

Answer

That stinks, I’m sorry that it isn’t working out quite the way you’d like.
Just remember, even though your son is only a year old, you’ve already been doing this for a year. You’ve got it kinda under control and know how things work. Your guy doesn’t, and to be honest I would listen to him. If he is verbally telling you that he doesn’t think he is ready- then listen.
Being a parent is hard work. It’s exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. But from my perspective- if having had a guy in my child’s life that wasn’t ready and having it be a disaster- I would say to let him have his space. Your son might not know his actual dad and that’s ok- but you don’t need a revolving door (and I’m not insinuating that you do- just putting it into perspective) but if this guy says he isn’t wanting to be a dad then that’s another guy who has spent time with your child.. and then you’ll try again, because like you I had wanted somebody to help someone to be there...
Eventually I moved on from that guy, found someone who loves the girls and myself... you will too

What would you do? Has this happened to you?

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