Adopting in light of miscarriage?

Question

I don't know if this is even a practical question, because I assume adoption is a really long process, but!
If you were to miscarry late in your pregnancy,  would you consider a sort-of replacement baby? By this I mean adopting a baby around the time when you would have had yours. Obviously you'd still be grieving the loss of your first love, but would anyone consider this the right thing to do to help move on and enjoy growing the family as you had planned? Youd already have the supplies ready to take care of a newborn and maybe it would also be easy to start lactating.

Answer

The fact that you’d be using the adoptive child as a “replacement” should be a big red flag. Nothing will replace your child, you’ll always have a special love for them that will never go away. But make sure your grieving process is finished & accepted before you adopt, so you can love this baby as their own person.

Answer

No... it is very unfair to the adopted child. You need to be able to love them as their own person not "instead" or "in place" of the one you lost.

Answer

Ftm here. I honestly dont know what I would do if I lost my little Booblen, but i found this excerpt that i like on the topic. 
Somewhere out there in the world, there was a baby -- either existing or fated to be born-- that needed a home. Ours was a home that needed a baby. We would start the adoption process. We made initial appointments with several agencies. I may not be able to make a healthy baby right now, but damn it if I won’t still be a mother. I was born to be a mother.
Some people questioned if we were “ready” to start the adoption process. Were we done grieving, they wanted to know. Clearly, this was a question being asked by those who have not yet known loss. You are never done grieving, and if you wait for that to happen, life will pass you by. But we were ready to choose hope, to choose life, to choose family and love and the chance to raise a child. We were ready to hold our loss in our hearts while we sought out joy. I didn’t give two figs if my child was flesh of my flesh or not. Put a baby in my arms, and that baby is mine.

Answer

Pregnancies #1 and #3 were miscarriages. I got pregnant again shortly after both MCs. They didn't feel like replacement babies. I was very happy to have more children, but I love them for who they are. I love our lost babies for who they were. I love all 4. It's not wrong to adopt, but only adopt if you're ready. Love each child for who they are - live birth biology children, adopted children, babies who died before we got to hold them in our arms. Each child is special and wonderful.

Answer

If you’re using the term “replacement” in regards to an adopted baby, then it wouldn’t be a good idea at all. I’m not sure if there was just a lack of other words (I get like that. Brain farts are my thing lmao) but nothing could ever replace the loss of a baby that you were carrying. Now adopting in general isn’t a bad idea at all. It’s just a tedious & expensive process! @livesweet on Instagram has adopted several babies so she knows all about the process and often posts about it.they just finalized their adoption for a sweet baby that was born back in June (?) so definitely a long wait.

Answer

That wouldn’t be fair I’m the adopted child

Answer

No, grieve the baby you lost. Celebrate the life that was made. Then later bring a new child into your life.

Answer

I don't have experience with this directly, however I had a loss end of 1st trimester and got pregnant again right away. In hindsight it was a mistake. Logically you know the new baby won't replace the one you lost, but you're essentially creating a distraction and place to project your grief. I bottled up my feelings for awhile but eventually they had to come out, and they did basically my whole next pregnancy. I can't imagine taking care of a newborn during my grief. So it's a nice thought in theory but personally I'd say give yourself at least 3-6 months to grieve, and then if you still want to adopt then go for it.

Adopting in light of miscarriage?

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