So, I am 16 weeks and a day pregnant at the moment. I am beyond ecstatic to be able to raise our little boy/girl (do not know the gender yet) with my fiancée/soul mate. I can’t believe that everything is falling into place as perfectly as it is and has been since meeting him - I am beyond grateful to have him in my life.

As happy as I am and as ecstatic as I am, I can’t shake the feeling of being alone. While I am not physically alone, I feel mentally alone. I have my fiancée and my family to talk to as far as any type of communication goes. I do not hold many friendships and the ones I do, we rarely talk and cannot see one another due to distance. As much as I enjoy talking to my family and my fiancée, I feel I am missing a connection with someone. As friendships go, I have never been very good with them. I consider my family and him my friends along with a very controlled group of people. I do not enjoy social settings since I have extreme anxiety and always feel judged in crowds, something that drives others away.

Basically, what I’m wondering is... is this “normal”? I am not angry or really upset to state that I am friendless aside for those who mean the most to me but I feel i want someone to just talk to. A best friend like I had in High School (am 24 years old so, high school was 7 years ago). I don’t know. Maybe I’m just letting these pregnancy hormones get the best of me.

For now, I appreciate and love that I can talk to my Mom and my S.O freely about anything. Maybe someday I’ll experience a friendship again, as weird as that may make me sound, lol.