So I'm having problems with a professor at my college. He doesn't teach us, then when we come into class from teaching ourselves out of the textbook, he tells us everything we learned from the book is wrong. The class average from his midterm was a 55%. so the problem isn't just me not trying hard enough. we're all confused and he is only confusing us more. he's terrible. it's his first year teaching this particular course and we've tried to offer suggestions that would help us learn it better but he just ends up ignoring us. half the time he'll "correct" a problem done on the board and one of us will tell him he's wrong. so he'll spend 10 minutes buried in a textbook trying to prove that he's right and then quietly correct it when he finds out he's wrong. I was bitching to my boyfriend about this professor and how we're all failing because of his ridiculous teaching (or lack thereof). My boyfriend started telling me I should go above his head and tell someone what he's doing. But I can't. I couldn't explain why I can't. I just...can't. finally my boyfriend blurts out "It's because of your hatred and/or fear of confrontation." I clammed up and quickly came up with a reason to get off the phone with him..but holy shit he is right. So so so so so right. I never really realized how much I avoid confrontation and when he said that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have avoided confrontation my entire life. Something is too hard or I don't understand it? I avoid it and just keep moving with my head down. A fight comes up? I quickly diffuse the problem and distract people to move away from it. I don't tell people what's wrong or how they hurt my feelings, I just bottle it up and move on. Something breaks or isn't working right? welp. that sucks. guess I don't have that thing anymore. why bother getting it fixed when I'll have to confront someone to do it? My mom yells at me about something? I nod my head along and bottle it up. My dad spends years running from his children and not paying child support and then suddenly wants to come back into my life? keep him at arm's length and never ask him why he did the things he did. My boyfriend and I argue? of course you're right, I'm wrong, change the subject please. I never fully realized I was doing this until he pointed it out to me, but holy shit this is exactly what I do. I hate confrontation and/or fear it to the point that it is detrimental to my health, life, and goals. I didn't know where to post this, I'm just trying to get it all written out because I'm struggling with understanding how to fix this. Does anyone else have this problem and/or know how to fix it?