I hate that I changed my mind because of him


When I found out I was pregnant I was excited and happy. But after telling my bf. He said he thinks the right thing to do it get rid of it and if it was up to him we would just try again when we are actually ready. I'm in university and hes not working so it was an awful time to have a kid. So I agreed to get rid of it.

But 3 months later I still cry almost everyday and just the sight of a baby makes me so sad. Being around his nephew made me sob uncontrollably. Every conversation about children about how we would raise them. And how our family would support them just makes me cry my eyes out.

And I hate that I ever let myself think differently than my first gut reaction. Even between finding out and the appointment I loved the thought of having a little bean growing in me. And I hate myself for ever forgetting or ignoring how much I wanted it.