I know my relationship with my husband would change when we had a baby, I just didn’t realize it would dissolve.

And I don’t mean that in a “things are going bad” kind of way, it’s just that I feel the time we have to spend on our relationship has been cut to 1/4 of what it was.

I always hear people say “you need to keep your spouse your #1 priority; spouse first, kids second” and I understand and mostly believe that. But HOW?????

I have a five week old little girl who needs me every three hours consistently. I’m usually my most tired at the end of the day and in the morning (not counting the middle of the night feedings) which of course is usually the only time I see my husband.

He’s so good about taking her when I ask and playing with her when he gets home, but that is when I have time to take a shower, make dinner, and do the dishes.

I’ve talked to him about it and explained that I don’t have the energy to put into our relationship like I did before and I need him to make it a priority and stop spending so much time on his phone when he gets home, and he feels really bad and says he‘ll step it up and never watch videos on his phone again, but the next day it’s back to how it was. He seems totally un-phased and doesn’t seem to see a difference in our relationship at all, but if we carry on like this we’re going to be strangers by the time she’s 2.

Does it get easier when the newborn phase is over? Has anyone figured out a balance right now?

I shouldn’t be complaining because he is a wonderful father and the best husband I could ask for, this had just been the roughest part of the transition for me.