My second (my first daughter at age 12 passed away by suicide on May 1st, 2018). My fiancé bought me a plane ticket to see my VERY best friend on the other side of the country. I go home Friday....... I’m still in shock, we’ve been trying for YEARS! My daughter wanted to be a big sister! She would have made the BEST big sister!!!!! I’m full of mixed emotions and scared..... I don know if I could emotionally handle complications (had lots with my first) or a miscarriage.......