My boyfriend just left for boot camp. I’m 8 weeks pregnant and before he left I told him and his family id get an abortion because that’s what they wanted I mean his mom wouldn’t even really talk to me when she knew I was pregnant before I said I’d get an abortion. and to be fair, I’m not really ready to have another baby (I already have a daughter from a previous relationship). And especially the fact that his family said they’d be completely unsupportive of it if I keep it. The only reason I kept it for so long already is because he was supportive of keeping it or so I thought. But apparently he just wanted to make me happy and reality hadn’t really hit him yet.

But now he’s gone and I just keep thinking I don’t know if I can go through with it. His sister said she’d take me and be my support person. But why couldn’t she support me if I kept it. I feel so torn. If i keep it, idk how I’m going to afford it. If I keep it, I don’t know if his family will even continue to talk to me. If I keep it, knowing he does not want it, I don’t know if he will grow to resent me and the stress will get to him and he’s even said he would have to just focus on the kid and the military and that all his love would go to the child and he isn’t sure where that would leave me

I don’t want to have another child and not be with the dad. I would want to be a family.

This isn’t really a pro life or choice argument so please don’t bring that here.

I’m just torn and he’s gone and I can’t even talk to him about it but then again I already know what he wants and I’m afraid of losing him.

I don’t know how I would take care of a baby all alone (I don’t even have family in the area)

But what if I can’t go through with the abortion. I don’t know. I wish he was here I miss him so much. I’m so torn. I know this makes him sound heartless but I understand. He’s just starting his career in the navy. He’s only 19. (I just turned 21). He’s terrified of that and also of even having a relationship while he’s in let alone a baby. He’s great with my daughter but I understand if that’s all he can handle.

So if it comes to it I just don’t know if I could do it alone. No one wants it. My friends and even my mom agree that it would probably be too much stress on me to have two kids to take care of alone (even if he comes around he’d still be gone most of the time and since I have my daughter and share custody with her father I wouldn’t be able to move wherever my boyfriend gets stationed.)

None of it seems like it would work out. But it’s just so hard to have him gone and then to lose the pregnancy at the same time and he’s not even here for support.