So today i broke down. Im a lesbian and my gf and i are trying to have a baby. We have a known donor and we are currently doing home insenimation. As much as i want the home insemination to work. As much as i want to have a baby I've been trying for months and all negatives. Then this month i ordered the ovulation kit and the results are all over the place. 😪 One minute it's close to the positive, next min its really far, then it will come back up telling me start preparing. The glow calendar keeps moving my ovu date and I've already been insenimated three times for the month so far. I just feel like i missed my chance to be a mother. I was molested as a child and became pregnant at age 15 by a relative and had an abortion and now i feel like its my karma. Had i known i would have been in this situation years later i would have kept the baby. Now im in this i just felt like i couldn't continue anymore. My bday is December 9th and i already have cranky bdays because i had the abortion 3 days before and i was all alone through that time. Its never a happy time for me. My AF is due on my bday and if she comes this time im going to be so crushed. Because I've been taking chlomid and eventually ill be on to something else just damaging my body with a bunch of side effects and nothing. Still hoping for a positive 🤞🏽🤞🏽 this month tho. I prayed, I've researched, I've cried 😩😪😑😪😪