So for as long as I can remember... I’ve always been skinny. Not like sickly skinny but skinny enough that growing up all my friends were jealous of me. Mainly because I ate whatever I wanted and still gained no weight. (I’m not trying to brag or be conceited, this is just a back story.) I never thought much of it, of course because I was a kid and most of my family has pretty high metabolism. I’ve never been super active, I am the opposite of athletic. I’d always worked out here and there and worked jobs that were pretty physically demanding (as in I was always running around quickly to get things done through a 5 or 6 hour shift). But never took getting into shape very seriously. I guess I just thought I wouldn’t put on weight soon. Well fast forward to now and I am now 40 pounds heavier than I was when my boyfriend and I started dating around 2016. At first it was just the freshman 15 (I was 18 and had just graduated high school) but it didn’t bother me. But within the last maybe 8 months, if not less, I’ve gotten on and off an antidepressant and I gained 25 pounds. So when I used to stay around 105/110, I now sit at 145. I am 5’4” and I don’t feel good at this weight. I have so many stretch marks from how rapidly I gained the weight. And now I can’t bring myself to do anything healthy for myself. I’m definitely depressed again since getting off my meds, I don’t have any motivation in me to do what I know I need to do to lose the weight, and part of me feels like the problem that I have is some sort of hormonal imbalance but I can’t get it checked out until January... So I’m stuck being depressed and fat and I just don’t know how to find the desire to even try to lose this weight. Just wanted any advice anyone has.

I am not looking for pity, like honestly😂 I’m just curious if anyone has high cortisol levels or any sort of hormonal imbalance and if this is something that it could cause or if I’m just a pathetic, lazy loser lol.