Hey y’all, I feel like I have a somewhat unique situation that I could really use some advice on, and although this is a little long, I hope you’ll power through for me. (There’s a TLDR at the end if you’re short on time!)

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. We started dating in high school after an unbelievably romantic, made-for-tv movie situation. I graduated high school a year early (I’m currently 17) and have started my first year of university, and I’m proud to say due to my grades in high school my tuition was cut in half. I currently work around 15 hours a week on top of being a full time student.

My boyfriend was never a fan of the education system (let’s be honest, who is) and although he is, truly, incredibly intelligent, he never applied himself at our high school. After considering dropping out in his last year, he received his diploma a semester after planned. He basically had 50%s across the board, but he planned to work on movie sets thanks to some connections he has.

After working on the sets a few times after graduation, he admitted to me that it wasn’t like how he wanted it to be at all. The days were incredibly long (sometimes up to 14 hours) and they would usually work for at least 3 days at a time. I supported him stopping working, because it just wasn’t making him happy. He worked as a personal assistant for a while afterwards, but the woman who hired him turned out to be a little bit nuts and he decided to distance himself from that as well.

He has been unemployed for about a year now. Although some of you might let him off the hook due to the fact that we both still live with our parents, I will tell you exactly why this should not factor in as an excuse.

John (fake name) is going to be 20 in two months. In five months, he, I, and three of our friends are planning to move into my grandpa’s house as my grandpa is permanently returning to *the home country*. We will be paying my gpa a rent of ~$1200/m, or about $250 per person (not including food & utilities). Currently, I am making around $400 a month from my retail job, so I begun saving as well as pushed myself for promotions and more hours on weekends at my job.

Anytime one of our future roommates or I bring up the fact that John needs to get a job, he reacts very poorly. Most recently, he told a friend nothing more than “fuck you” repeatedly, and last time I talked to him he got down, but also very whiny and bratty, saying things like “well I guess I’ll just get shit on for the next five years” and “I’m just going to let my mouth get pissed into”. This behaviour always ticks me off, but I don’t want to yell or fight him. He definitely has a way with words and it’s difficult to argue with him. What does he do all day? Well, he plays guitar, does yoga, and smokes a lot of pot. Which, I would have no problem with whatsoever... if it wasn’t constant and if it wasn’t my cannabis.

As the deadline to our house together draws nearer, I’m afraid. All of his previous employments ended after a brief time, and even if he gets a job very soon I fear that he’ll be unhappy, and no longer have the time/resources to find something else. On top of this, when John is unhappy, he is VERY unhappy. He often blames his personality type, ENTP, for this constant cloud that follows him. I think it’s due to his perspective on life. (For those curious, I am INFP.)

When we are not discussing his job, he is the kindest, most caring, sweet and soft person I know. He and I have a bond that goes incredibly deep. We have both helped each other become better, more complete people, and our chemistry is fantastic. He has told me too many times to count how much he wants to marry and grow old with me. Although we are young, we have been through so much together- he has helped me through a suicide attempt, self harm, and eating disorders, and I’ve helped him get over his compulsive lying and emotional neglect. I love him so dearly. If I tried to describe how much I love him, this post would be twice as long.

But from outside eyes, this might look childish and naïve. I’m asking you all for your opinions. Should I break up with him? It seems crazy when my heart hears it, but so obvious in my head.

Tldr: my boyfriend of 2 years and I are incredibly in love and have no problems, until someone brings up his unemployment, in which case he becomes bratty, childish, mean, and argumentative. What do?