I’m wanting help reaching out to my mom. We haven’t talked in several years and it’s because of my marriage.

I was in college when I met the man I wanted to marry. We met at the beginning of my freshman year and started dating a few months later and got married at the end of my sophomore year. (Pretty quick, but we just knew and saw no reason to wait)

My mom only saw him face to face once. This was because she refused to get to know him. She said she didn’t want her heart to break if we broke up and didn’t want to get to know him until we were engaged. I lived in a different state from where I went to school but she was in the state maybe 10 times and refused to see him each time but one. I also wanted him to come over for summer break/Christmas ect, but she refused to allow it. She refused to get to know him.

When my husband wanted to propose to me, he tried to Skype my mom. (Out Of respect) She ignored him and immediately called me, screaming at me saying I promised her I wouldn’t get engaged for another year (never happened) and was furious. After that day we stopped contacting each other. (In other words I stopped contacting her because she forced me to contact her at least once a day every day when I was in college. The one time I forgot, she contacted me and threatened to cut me off from the family.)

Anyways. After that my SO just decided to elope. I saw no hope that I was going to get any support from her. His family was very supportive and even conducted the ceremony in their living room.

I contacted my mom one other time and that was to tell her I got married. That was it. Over the years she has had minimal conversation. Wishing each other happy holidays and birthdays. Stuff like that. She sent me a few gift cards for Christmas.

I’d like to get in contact with her and apologize for not inviting her to the wedding and having an actual ceremony. I want a relationship with her but I don’t know what to do. Help?