Here to get it all out/diary entry lol

Kelly • Kelly

I'm 37+2, gestational hypertension. We had a scare of pre eclampsia but urine was good after 24hr chk and a few samples after that. My NST are also good and had ultrasound to chk growth and fluid and all is well. I am only 1cm but I am so happy my little man is healthy! My doctor is inducing me at 39 weeks if I dont go b4 hand. Due to the high blood pressure she doesnt like to wait longer then that. Which I am ok with even tho I am scared of induction. Everyone says pitocin is awful but I feel like it all is! So w.e gets the job done right? Anyways. I'm super uncomfortable, not working anymore due to severe carpal tunnel syndrome ( hairstylist) my feet are swollen and sore. My lower back feels detached, I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror at this point I can barely recognize myself! I have gained so much!! Although I am grateful for a cute belly w no stretch marks at this point! I pee literally every 15 mins and barely getting any sleep unless its after 230am for some reason! You know, I could go on and on but you guys know exactly how I'm feeling! My biggest concern is I feel like I am in denial of the fact I'm going to have my baby in 2wks!! Like really??? I'm going to push a child out of my vagina and be in the worst pain of my life in less then 2 weeks?? And then I'm going to take him home?!?!?! And be a mother for the rest of my life?!?!? Like what. Idk. I am very excited I just feel like it's so surreal. I don't handle pain well so as much as everyone says oh ur body takes over, you'll push through, it's all worth it. The pain, and fear of anxiety or panic attacks or fainting or vomiting nausea, or the ever unwanted c section! I dont handle anyyyyy of that well. But knowing that there is no other way around it I guess is keeping me somewhat calm. Hes coming no matter what right?! If you've made it this far thanks for listening to my rant! Oh and ps. I just got the cutest stocking to put my little man in for his newborn pics 🤗 I just keep trying to think if the fun positive things to keep me going!! Oh and pss. If my fiance says "your almost there!!!" After one of my complaints one more timeeeee!!!!😑😑😂