Feeling down

2 miscarriages since March and I want so badly to be a mom. It’s been 7 months since the last loss and I haven’t gotten pregnant again. My husband is deploying next year and now even if I do get pregnant he won’t be here for it. my friends are all on their second pregnancies and I feel like an awful friend but every text with an ultrasound photo I get makes me cry. day 3 of my period now and I got formula samples in the mail (my first due date was last month) and that was just icing on the cake. hoping for my rainbow soon!