I'm posting because I need to vent.

Let me start off by asking, if anyone has any rude comments, please do not make them, as this situation is kind of touchy for me, and spikes my anxiety... (why I've been holding off posting this) and any rude comments, will greatly effect me more than you think.

So, I'm 19 years old. I haven't been in school in, I'd say, in 2 years. I didn't drop out, I never signed any papers that said I dropped out. But I stopped going, because of my anxiety. I've tried multiple times over the years too push myself to go and get that high school diploma. But every time my anxiety got in the way.

I feel like a failure, and I'm always depressed (I take meds).

I'm too scared to get a job, I've had one in the past, but I was only comfortable going because I worked with my mom, and it was chill, and laid back. I'm absolutely terrified to have a job, just writing this, my chest aches. When my anxiety gets the best of me I'm so stubborn and I refuse to do/face whatever is making me anxious. I want a job so bad someday..

What I'm wondering is, it's possible to get social security money for social anxiety disorder right?

I really feel terrible having to do this, but I need money, I need money to get my GED, I need money to move out and help my boyfriend with money, we both live in such toxic places, and we both hate spending time at one another's house.

I want to live.

A couple of months from now I will be 20. I need help guys. I'm so depressed always, I need to get on my feet. I feel like I'm not being a normal human being.

My parents have also never been a help if you are wondering, they've always been to busy with their own issues.

I'm just so scared to post this, and get negative comments about anxiety, or people who "get money from the state"..