I was divorced. My husband went through a series of mental health issues along with a mental breakdown. After knowing him for 10 years, he was not the man I fell in love with. He filed for divorce after leaving me for 9 months a year prior. I moved on. I realized that although I was depressed and sad, this wasn’t the first time he had left me all alone. We had been trying for kids, not very diligently but if we got pregnant, I was ready. I suppose, he was not. When he left, we had just been talking about renewing our vows and starting our family. We had bought a house and new car, I thought we were set up for success. He broke my heart.

I started dating a dad. He had everything I wanted. He was a father, and wanted more kids, we were in the same profession, we went to church together, prayed together, and started building a life together. I moved in with him when he moved to his sisters house and things went south. We fought. A lot. Our parenting styles were different, our beliefs were different. His family got in the way of our love for each other. He was insecure, borderline abusive, and absolutely manipulative. He broke up with me twice and we took a break once before that in the course of 6 months. I didn’t give him a 4th chance. We used the pull out method most of the time, otherwise it was condoms.

My ex husband and I decided to be friends. He got his mental health under control. He is pouring into God. He has changed his friends, gotten help, become sober. I can see a future with him, not yet, not now, maybe in a few years of actively seeing a change.

I might be pregnant. I tested negative over and over and over. Today, I got a very very faint line. I told my ex husband and he said, “I will raise that child as if it were my own. I love you, I support you, you are going to be okay. We will figure it out. God has a plan.” I’m scared. My ex boyfriends family is mean, rude, they have completely different morals. I cannot imagine raising a child with the way they believe things should be. I’m praying I am not pregnant because I would never want to put a baby in the position to be exposed to the lifestyle they live. Now, more than ever I am praying it is not positive.