Background information: I have ocd, depression, and anxiety. My anxiety has been really bad lately. There are a lot of things that trigger my anxiety.

I was telling my friend something and there were a bunch of boys playing moss (a game where they throw the football into a group of people and whoever catches it gets to throw. If nobody catches them the thrower throws it again) and they were right next to us. There is this kid that has always been an ass to me. He walked up to me and put his hand on my head. I looked at him weird and then started telling my friend what I needed to tell her. My crush was throwing the ball. The kid that is an ass had the guts to scare the shit out of me. He forced my crush to help him. This ass of a kid thinks that he is everything bc he is tough. He didn’t know that I have rlly bad anxiety. He made my crush throw the football right over my head. I got so scared and ducked. I am lucky my crush has good aim. I started having a panic attack but I couldn’t tell anybody bc teachers would get involved. I walked up to my crush and said “Hey I cant get scared like that bc I have rlly bad anxiety.” He said “I’m so sorry!” I felt bad bc he felt bad but I was in the middle of having an anxiety attack and I couldn’t rlly say anymore. When I went to 4th period, I told that ass that he can’t do that to me. Well he made fun of me for having anxiety and I got so mad that I wanted to slap him. I didn’t bc the teacher was looking in the general direction plus he is rlly obnoxious and whines about everything. I would probably get expelled. All of this shit went down after pe. It was a mess bc we were playing flag football. I was the quarter back and got to tell everybody what play we were doing. (We have boys separated from girls meaning we have pe every other day) My team tried arguing with me. My bff is on my team and got pissed bc ppl were trying to yell at me. I had to yell for them to be quiet and one girl had to hold my bff back from slapping some annoying bitch 😂😂❤️ Anyways.... my bff and I were pissed for half of 4th period. It was lunch halfway through 4th so we forgot about it and ate. Well.... she got mad when I told her what the ass said. I had to tell her to not do anything. Well this is where it gets bad.... I have the worst self confidence ever. I get anxiety almost every day bc I feel fat and ugly. I was talking to another rlly close friend and she gets episodes of self consciousness. I told her I feel like I am such a bad friend bc I can’t help her bc I am going through the same thing except worst. I always get so mad at myself when I can’t help her a whole lot. I try so hard and it is hard to help her when I am having the same thing. I have had confidence in so long. I did a summer camp and that is when I had the best confidence. My ex would always tell me I am pretty. He ended up leaving summer camp and we never spoke again. The last time I saw him was at subway when I was getting a sandwich but it was awkward and we didn’t talk. I miss how he made me feel beautiful. When I was on my way home from summer camp, I would have hundreds and hundreds of texts telling me that I am a disappointment and I am ugly. These were coming from somebody I thought I trusted. I got her out of suicide. TWICE. it is sad that I can be so nice to her but she is a complete ass to me. It ruined my confidence and it is a part of my anxiety. I have tried so many things to help myself mentally. I can’t find anything. Please comment some ways to help stop anxiety attacks ❤️❤️