This note:

"R.

I am going to be honest with you R....I looked at porn today. There are so many things to say and almost nothing to say at the same time.

I am sorry R. I wish I didn't do it, I wish I didn't have to write you this letter I wish I were a better person. I am sorry that my sins and my problems have impacted you so negatively over the past years.

R. I am scared you are going to leave me. Please don't...please please don't. You are worth so much more than how I have been treating you but at the same time I beg you to believe in me and continue to walk through this with me. My life is truly so much better off with you in it. I love it when you are goofy when you cover your whole body with a blanket, start giggling and then peak out at me. You bring so much joy to my life You have brought a whole new level of companionship to my life. I am not done with our relationship and I can only ask, hope, and pray you are not done either.

R. I am not going to justify what I did. It was wrong and it hurts you. At the same time I would ask you to consider the amount of time which has elapsed since I last looked at porn. I would ask you to consider the times I have said "no" and take this to mean I was trying...

Please stay R. Please stay. Please try to have hope through the pain and please don't give up on me.

-G"

I know some people are ok with porn, but I told him before we even got engaged that I wasn't ok with it and that it was a non-negotiable. He agreed to stop. He kept on before we were married, but said it was because I wouldn't let him have sex with me before I was married.

Everytime he messes up he says "things are going to change" and that it's the last time. But I'm 2.5 years into marriage and it hasn't stopped. Last time he messed up I asked about counseling and he said he didn't want to "share problems with someone he doesn't know"

He is the sweetest guy after he messes up. A totally different guy. He compliments me, he buys me things, write me notes, is romantic, pursues me ,and is intentional to invest in me. Then time passes, and it seems like when I start falling for him and trusting him he messes up. Before he messes up he starts telling me how he wants to go after other girls, and how it's so hard to stay with me, and how he wants to look at porn. That at his job he gets hit on all the time and it's so hard to to go after them. How it would be fun to have sex with multiple girls and live the party life. That he feels like he missed out when he married me.

I've asked multiple times if he wants me, and he says something along the lines of, "I don't feel like I can say that because I want to go after other girls". Then says something along the lines of since he has stayed with me and not gone after other girls it should be a compliment to me.

It's also not like I've let myself go. I'm 5"6. 120lbs. Size 32DD boobs. I like to think I'm attractive.

The one thing I can be thankful for is he has never tried to hide it from me.

Am I stupid for staying? How long should I wait? Would you stay?