What my wife says

Question

My wife mentioned that I am lacking when it comes down to showing affection for my step children (3). 
She blames my childhood or rather lack of.
I didn't get much love, doesn't mean I don't know love, I show it differently. My step dad was a marine. I saw the love in order. I received his PTSD and order.
My childhood was fucked, so I don't know what good parenting looks like, but I do know how I survived. Order. I love order and everything that goes with it.
She requested I talk to other dad's about learning how to show more affection. So here I am. This is me.. 
Asking you guys. What do you guys do to give love.

Answer

Hello. I'm not a dad, but my husband is the same way. My husband's father is pure business, even to his children. No love whatsoever. My husband has no clue. But, because of this I cannot expect my husband to just magically learn from an app and your wife should not either. My question to you is do you WANT to? Because if you don't and you feel forced, she will feel it too. Maybe a simple cuddle on the couch, a brief talk about each other's day, could be a great start. I've learned to accept how my husband is because it's all he knows. I love him and just because he doesn't show it doesn't me he doesn't love me! I'm sure if you explain this to her, she will understand

Answer

Young wife here but my Dad is/was awesome!
My dad wasn't around much because he was constantly working : work, then home but would continue mowing and such.
My dad would help us with the sports we played. We would throw us balls, tell us how to block in basketball, take us fishing on weekends. In the week days after he was done fishing he would watch a movie with us until he fell asleep, sometimes his movies, sometimes he would put in what we wanted. Also when he would boil eggs for tuna he would put them on a paper plate while still hot and give us crayons so we could draw on them before he cracked the shell
Here are some things you could do with your kids:
.ask about their day
.ask about their friends
.make a bucket list with them
.teach them how to cook something
.ask them to show you what music they like
.play catch
.play computer games with them
.read them bedtime stories
.Pray with them and for them
.read a book together

Answer

Take an interest if you haven’t in their lives, concern for their futures, etc. I’m not affectionate and it’s hard to force but you can show you care without feeling totally out of your comfort zone.

What my wife says

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