I feel like I am going crazy.

I am obsessing over being pregnant. I have lost two pregnancies. My first at 20 weeks a year ago and my second at 18 weeks mid August. My boyfriend and I are “casually” trying and I keep over analyzing everything. I have tested 3 times this week. Each time with a BFN, I know I am testing too early (AF not due until the 5th of December). But I just can’t help it. Two of my friends and I were all pregnant together before I had my second miscarriage and one had her baby a week ago and the other is due on December 3rd (I was due January 15th). Plus my boyfriends cousin just had hers yesterday and like 5 people on my Facebook just announced they are pregnant. I just want to have a baby so badly. But I feel like I’m hindering my chances of it because of how badly I am obsessing over it. Part of the reason I’m obsessing so badly this cycle is because we had sex around the time my glow app said I was supposed to ovulate. I don’t do the opk tests but I track my cervical mucus and I never saw the egg white mucus this cycle. I have had extremely watery discharge for about 3-5 days now. Which happened in both my previous pregnancies before I found out I was pregnant. I’ve just been so all over the place with my emotions and every time I see that BFN I just get so discouraged and so sad I start crying. I just don’t know what to think or do anymore. It’s hard letting it go and not obsess over it.