Should I end it?

Imma go off

Rn I'm texting my LD bf whom I've been with for 4 months now and have known for over a year. The past few months I've felt very drained whenever I talk to him and he's always needy and wants love and attention which is totally fine but a lot of the time I feel like I'm trying to calm a crying baby. My mom knows about him and she doesn't like him, she's said that lately I've been very irritable and always pissed when I come out of my room where I'm always on skype or texting w him. I noticed this too but I don't wanna think it's bc of him. And recently my grades in school aren't too good and she told me if I don't get my shit together before the semester ends she's taking my phone and never letting me talk to him again. I told him this last week so I can't talk to him as much we haven't skyped since then and we've been barely been texting since I've been busy w projects n shit. And yesterday he told me he always thought he was an inconvenience to him and told me we should breakup. Then he said it was just a joke and I told him to fuck off but I got real disappointed when he said he was kidding. The more I'm typing the more I realize I sound like a horrible bitch I just don't know how to handle all this and this shit gives me bad anxiety cuz this is the first serious relationship I've had even tho it's been 4 months and having confessed that he's my first love. He's a great person but I always feel drained and emotionally exhausted when I'm w him but I promised I wouldn't leave him bc he has trust/attachment issues w his exes and I don't wanna be them. I don't fucking know what to do I'm really anxious and scared and pathetic bc this the kinda shit you tell a therapist but I'm putting up here I just need help