My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and we live together. I started dealing with an issue outside of our relationship in early September (three months ago). I was feeling anxious, depressed, and scared, so I tried to turn to my boyfriend for some support. He basically ignored me. He would procrastinate coming home from work (he felt the need to drive around to "clear his head" after a hard day) and then when he did come home he would browse the internet or play video games. If I tried to start a conversation, he wouldn't look up from his TV or phone, just kind of nod and acknowledge that I was talking. The times he did look away from his technology he would look really annoyed that I was trying to talk to him, but he didn't say anything. This went on for about six or seven weeks. I gave up on getting support from him and turned to my close friends, who helped me out and now that issue has passed. Finally, I told my boyfriend that I was so unhappy that he ignored me for almost two months when I needed someone. I never wanted him to "fix" me or carry the weight of my problems, I just wanted someone to talk to. We had a couple of arguments, and he admitted that he himself had been feeling depressed and stuck in his own head. He couldn't (and still can't) figure out why he's feeling this way, but he recently started seeing a professional and is starting to feel better and better. But I'm not. My unhappiness with being ignored and feeling like I was the only one trying in our relationship hasn't stopped. I'm so mentally and physically exhausted, and now that he is ready to put effort into being a couple again, I don't feel up to it. I don't even want physical affection from him, and now *I'm* not in the mood to have a conversation with *him*. Part of me just wants this relationship to end, because I don't want to continue to feel unhappy and uncomfortable in my own home. But I don't want to abandon him when he is depressed, even though he A) seems like he wants to deal with his depression by being away from me and B) he basically abandoned me when I needed him (I know, that sounds selfish). I keep asking him what I can do to help him and he never has an answer. It is a little disconcerting that he doesn't have consistent contact with any friends. He tells me he doesn't see them anymore because they're only available weekdays, and he's only available weekends. I called him out on not maintaining relationships when it's no longer convenient for him, and he didn't argue.

People have always said that relationships have ups and downs, that you need to work through the "downs" to get back to the "ups," and this will create a stronger bond between partners. Can anyone who has been in a long-term relationship tell me if it's normal to feel so unhappy and hopeless for three months? If this had gone on for a couple of weeks, that would seem normal and bearable, but this is my first relationship that has lasted longer than a year so I'm not really sure. At what point does it stop being "ups and downs" and just become a failed relationship? If I told my boyfriend that after being ignored for weeks and weeks I wanted this to be over, am I being selfish? If I'm not willing to have long periods of unhappiness in a relationship, does that make me unlikely to work through problems in future relationships?

To summarize my question: I've been unhappy in my current relationship for the past three months. Does it make sense to stay and try to rekindle the love? If I end it, does that suggest that I have a self-destructive personality and will probably fail at any future relationships? Or do I have a chance at finding someone in the future who won't ignore me when I try to start a conversation with him?