In-law drama - Need advice

Hi everyone! This is a long one!

With the holidays approaching, it brings up some family issues I must say. So typically when it comes to holidays (Christmas, Easter etc) I usually host a big dinner because A) I enjoy hosting and cooking and B) we have the largest space to accommodate this sort of thing. So some background before I get to the part where I need advice so you guys understand; Well last Easter I planned a big Easter dinner. I’d like to note I put a lot of thought into hosting anything. For example my husband and I don’t drink so we didn’t have wine glasses however I know how much my sister in law and her fiancé enjoy wine so I went out and bought some wine glasses. Anyway while they were on their way here for Easter dinner my sister in law’s fiancé decided he didn’t want to go and that she wasn’t allowed to bring their son (whom was around a year old at the time) all because her fiancé was worried our dogs (a lab and a chihuahua) would be problematic because of the “dog bites that have been in the news” and he was mad that we had our dogs here and not at my mother in laws (my husband and I had absolutely no idea he had an aversion towards dogs until this very moment of when they were on their way to my Easter dinner. My sister in law, her fiancé and their son have been to my home several times before and there’s never been any issues as my dogs are extremely loveable and not aggressive. Also I have a daughter three months younger than their son and pride myself on providing a safe loving environment for her — just to offer perspective)

anyway so my sister in law arrived to my Easter dinner while her fiancé and son went back home. I was extremely offended for several reasons and my sister in law “doesn’t want to argue with him” about this. But anyway it’s non of my business what goes on in their relationship but I know it’s been extremely rocky but I won’t get into that. My view on this situation is that he’s being unreasonable and controlling not allowed her to bring their son to her own brothers house for such an obtuse reason is beyond me. Moving forward he never reached out to apologize and stands his ground. My sister in law has never brought over my nephew since and he has even threaten he’d cancel family vacation etc if she brought him here.

So with Christmas approaching I decided I wasn’t going to host a Christmas dinner because I don’t want to deal with their drama. Instead we are doing an intimate Christmas brunch. I suggested to my husband maybe we meet up with them at a restaurant so that I can see my nephew. However my sister in law invited us over to their home for “Christmas snacks” for just after Christmas. Both my husband and I feel uncomfortable with that considering what has happened with her fiancé and I don’t want that sort of example set out for our daughter. Ultimately I will do what ever my husband wants to do because it’s his family and I’m supportive of however he feels this situation should be handled (within reason of course) Should we decline the invitation and counter offer with a more mutual meet up at a restaurant? Or just suck it up and go over there? My husband and I both have some sour feelings towards the fiancé and even his sister for allowing this to happen. All I know is my husband and I would never tell each other that we can’t bring our daughter to a family members house unless there was a real cause for concern. And honestly I would feel offended if my husband didn’t trust me as a mother to keep our daughter safe.

Any advice would be appreciated, thank you!

Edit: When the incident at Easter happened, I already had the dogs comfortable in my guest room so they wouldn’t get over stimulated by guests. I told my sister in law that and her fiancé didn’t care. He wanted them to be at my mother in laws house. I am willing to accommodate guests to make them feel comfortable but within reason. It honestly sounds like he’s used to getting his way and he was throwing a temper tantrum because it wasn’t exactly how he wanted it.