I hide my phone

I trust my boyfriend, I really do, but ever since I got my first phone at eleven, I've always had this thing about needing to protect my privacy. I also get defensive when he takes my phone, and I truly do nothing wrong. I talk to my internet friends (always platonically, and I even came out to one of them as bi when I was ready to because I trust her), browse the web, and use some apps on my phone. However, I know exactly why I hide it despite just being innocent with the stuff I do, and honestly, it's quite sad since it has to do with how I grew up.

I had a game that I loved playing when I was seven called Nintendogs, and for those of you that know the game, you raise puppies in real time and train them while being the best owner possible. One day, when I was still that age, my now ex-stepfather took the game and a few others so he could trade them for a game he wanted behind my mom's back, and he said which games he traded like he had a right to do what he wanted with the things we bought (he was the one who made more money than mom, and there were times he spent erratically despite her misgivings about it).

Flash forward to when I turned eleven, I told my mom that I wanted a phone, and she happily helped me pick out a cheap one to use so I could talk to my friends and keep in contact with my family. Over the course of the times I had to get new ones before it became a "hassle" for me to get a new phone (my ex-stepfather has a gaming addiction alongside an addictive personality, so he would spend money even if it was supposed to be set aside for bills on whatever the newest addiction was). By that point, whenever my family found out about a guilty pleasure for someone else, they'd poke fun at them, which meant that when they discovered that I went to a Roleplaying site my sophomore year of high school, they did just that before my ex-stepfather decided to ground me from the internet because I used the site to escape from how he was treating us and neglecting school (I hated the district, and he was beginning to molest me when I found the site, which is PG-13 and you have to be 13+ to become a member). I then began to hide my things as soon as they were made clear that they were mine if I could, and it was mainly out of fear that he'd sell them to get something related to his current addiction.

Yeah, I'm fucked up, but my boyfriend was made aware of this on our second date, and we're currently approaching eight months. He knows which site I go on, and he only gets upset when he notices ideas that I post that would make him upset. I apologized for them, but I remind him that they're just ideas, and I would never act them out because he's the only person I want to be with. He also knows the site makes me happy, so he has learned to deal with it and find the new posts whenever I tell him that another one was up.