He manipulates me

People say run get out while you can. You would never know what it's like I'm scared!! My husband is controlling. We have been together for 6 years and we have 2 little boys. When I met him I was 16 he was my first boyfriend and I did cheat I feel awful everyday about it even though I'm 23 now. My father controlled me when I was a child I wasn't able to have friends, if a boy walked down out St he would make me come inside, I wasn't able to have a cellphone, I wasn't able to have a job, he would pull my ear get in my face and scream so loud that I couldn't hear from my ear for a week I mean the list goes on and I ended up meeting my husband. It was like an escape to get away from my dad no matter how many times I got beaten by a hanger a hot iron to my ear dcf never did anything. I felt free when I met my husband and I ended up taking advantage and cheating because I didn't know what a relationship was.i hurt him till this day he brings it up. I grew up because I wanted to be a happy family our son is autistic I know he needs us. In the past 3 years my husband has been emotionally cheating with women he started using my past against me he knows I changed why forgive and start a cycle. We welcomed another baby in March this year and he ended up cheating before I can even heal and it was a few days before mothers day. He promised he'll stop he gave me his Gmail password to trust him I'm not the one to play detective I have my hands full but I took the Gmail and added it to my phone. Everything was great! Until I seen a change in my husband he started acting super weird when I would just touch his phone to move it or give it to our son for YouTube. He would leave me and not come home until late or not at all because our arguing. We only have one car it's not like I can leave because it's his car. Guess what he was taking to the same girl from a few months ago. This time I wanted to "investigate" because why? She was 19 your 28 ? She worked with him!!!!!!!!! It crushed it hurt he begged and begged he didn't wanna lose me and I have nobody so I took him back. I'm scared to be alone he tells me everyday if it wasn't for me you'll still be with your dad probably with nothing. He ended up removing the Gmail deleting it and if I look thru his phone he'll hover over me because he doesn't want me to add the Gmail which I'm not. Ysterday I just has enough its been a month and he quit the job but he always talks about it and how she treated him nice. Then he noticed that I had enough and sent me this text this morning. When I responded he called and told me he takes everything he says back he doesn't care if I was hurt anymore. He also said if I don't let him stay at my home while we are broken up he's going to the extent to take my kids from me because I still suffer with ppd, anxiety, depression and now I'm getting evaluated for autism. It hurts and it's so hard trying to move forward nobody will ever get it