How do you get well behave kids?

I swear i see a lot of kids that are a year to 5yrs old, and theyre so damn well behaved! Like how the hell do their parents even do it!? Theyre so nice to their younger siblings, and to other young kids, they listen to their parents, they dont throw too much tantrums. Man, my kids arent like that at all! My oldest one is mean to his younger sibling, and to other kids. He doesnt listen to me and will scream/cry even more if i demand him. He hits me, he hits his younger sibling, and other kids. He doesnt like to share his toys. He throws tantrums a majority of time, and will make a real big fuss if he doesnt get things his way. Urghh, what am i doing wrong? Hes also not interested at learning. I cant teach him anything! I cant read to him. What am i to do? Even my husband tells me im not a good mother, cause he wont learn anything, like abcs or numbers, and he doesnt ever listen to me. Hes 2 yrs old. But hes such a good, discipline boy to his dad.