I want to punch something

5 days late. 5 negative tests. I wasnt telling my fiancee because i didnt want to disappoint him if we werent, but I did. I really thought we were. I was terrible sick last week. Ive had on and off early symptoms. We caught ovulation randomly. Came early. We had the most unsexy, unromantic sex, knowing we had a window. Well tonight it came crashing down. Twenty years i have never missed a period or been late. Except this week. When i thought i was pregnant and really it was just late. I dont want to tell him. I can take the disappointment. I can cry and swear and scream inside, but i can't look this amazing man in the eyes and tell him. It came.