Guilt....guilt....guilt😞😞

My son went back to his dad's tonight until next Friday when I get him back..I hate these days.. the guilt of yelling at him during the week for not listening or whatever starts to eat at me. Guilt cause I can't be by him..guilt cause I know he misses me when he is gone but has to pretend he don't. Guilt cause if he is feeling sad an wants to cry I know his dad tells him to suck it up..guilt cause i know when he is over there- they live with his grandma- he wishes his dad was actually there not always at his girlfriend's house. Guilt cause I know he doesn't get fed as much as he should or it is fast food.. the guilt is eating me alive.. it eats me alive even more cause I work nights an I work alone.. the thoughts are wrenching on my heart😞😭😞😭