I lost my mum june of this year. This will be our first Christmas without her and its just hitting so hard right now. Usually by now we would have been out shopping together, we would have brought dresses for eachother to wear christmas day and helped pick out different christmas tops for my dad and brothers. We would have been chosing new collars and toys for the pets, as itgot closer to christmas i wouldve been helping her wrap all the gifrs, we would have spent a day with chriatmas music and egg nog baking cookies and decorating the house (she always loved the lights i would hang around the roof in the living room)

At this very moment while I'm all aline at home its just hitting very hard that she wont be here. That i miss her so much and wish i had of spent more time with her instead of moving away to the city with my husband. I wish i had of told her i got married, shown her our photos or had her there at the wedding (we eloped but had been planning a dinner or something to let the family know and celebrate together) there were so many things we had planned, so many movies to watch together and foods to try. She will never even get to meet her future grandchildren. She would always ask when i was giving her some.

I wish she could still be here for one last christmas together, i know she was in pain and wanted it all to stop, shes at peace now away from all the pain and heartache but i miss her so veru much