I’m alone and depressed

so i feel like i’m alone now... my best friend just killed himself about a day ago and now i feel like i’m alone and don’t deserve any purpose in the world i feel like nobody loves me even tho i know someone who does... sometimes when i’m alone i cut myself which is almost every day i’m hiding secrets and one of them is that i’m dying for real😭😭i just want a friend who i can text everyday and who knows what i’m going through... if people comment i’ll tell you who this really is but if one person i deeply love and care for sees this post and finds out its me they might not love me anymore... anyone wanna be a friend i can trust to talk to? I’ll tell you all how old i am soon i hope if i’m ready...