I want this to end

I’m officially back driving myself crazy. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but every time something doesn’t feel right with me health wise I assume the worse case scenario. Right now I am literally about to cry thinking about the chances of HIV i went and got tested yesterday but I just wish they could tell me the same day! This has happened so many times and I honestly contemplate suicide because of these thoughts. I slept with a guy and the condom broke but the twist is he was pulled out and I watched the condom

Break in his hand. I just feel like my life is in shambles I don’t want to keep feeling like this.

Update: I was placed on an anxiety pill called Zoloft...