twin miscarriage

two weeks ago we found out we’re having twins. a few days ago we found out we lost one of the twins and the other hasn’t grown. i feel absolutely insane and like i’m losing my mind. i go to the OB in a few days to see if my HCG levels have dropped even more but i can’t help but hoping that they’re wrong and our other baby is fine. we were trying but not trying for four years and this is our first pregnancy. i know logically i probably lost both babies but there’s still this glimmer of hope that the other baby wasn’t growing as quickly because of it being a multiple pregnancy and that everything is actually okay.

i just want to be happy again.