Hey Everyone,

Just looking for some support as I am scared right now. 2018 has shown no mercy on me or my family. My wife and I have been trying for a while now but had to put a halt on it do you the donor we were using on the sperm bank prices went up. However, December 29, 2017 got my BFP yayyy right. No! This is the same day my wife's mom passes. The day of the funeral in January 2018 I have a MC. I was terrified and alone.

Fast Forward:

April 1st 2018. I know April's fool's day I go to get inseminated again. On April 16th another BFP. Yes! I called to make plans to meet a midwife on May 4 2018. I am soooooo happy. My wife still down but happy. May 4th the same day I am supposed to find out my due date and meet the midwife I MC. I am furious at the point because the nurse tell me "you MC but your due date would be December 23, 2018. I have waited since my last MC in May because I got scared.

I just can't handle another MC. So, I waited to get my positive vibes back and now I am ready to again in 2019.

I am so ready for this back in 2007 my daughter died at 3months because her lungs collapsed. I am proud that she was in my life that long cause she showed me how to love. I am so grateful for my little angel.

I am ready to feel that again. I have grieved to passing of my daughter since 2007. I feared my having another child would replace her. But, she can never be replaced.

Sorry for the gloom this morning. But I am ready. 2019 I claim my rainbow baby😁.