10DPO CD 32 . Negative tests. Annual OB appt

This has been a rough month. TTC after miscarriage in September. I tracked ovulation , of course I ovulated late. My cycle is super long, I have no symptoms and negative tests. I know I still have time, of course my annual appt is today . I don’t even want to go I’m going to have flashbacks to when I was there last and going not pregnant doesn’t make it any better . So emotional