I’m just hoping to ease my mind a little here and to get insight. My boyfriend, now ex, we’re together for 4 months. I know, not that long of a time on being together 🙄 He’s in the army and recently got sent to the border. I live in Minnesota and he was stationed in Missouri. We recently broke up. I thought everything was going good for us. He left on my birthday. Just 3 days before he left, I drove 10 hours to go see him because I wanted to get that opportunity to see him before he leaves for 2 months. I drove there right after work and mind you, I was up since 6AM, got there around 5AM and didn’t sleep until 9AM since he had inspection the day I drove there.

Anyways, we recently broke up. He kept beating around the bush and just avoiding the subject. I kept asking him if he’s trying to break up with me and he would say “take it as it is.” So I asked “are you breaking up with me?” He just never replied for a whole day. I texted him the next day to see if he was ready to talk in which he said “no.” I ended up writing him a really long paragraph of how I felt and he responded with texts such as, “you can do better,” “I don’t want you to be with me if I get deployed for months at a time,” “you deserve someone who is better and lives closer who can give you the love and attention you deserve,” “I’m sorry,” “I don’t want to leave,” and “I really can’t live without you.” I ended up telling him “come talk to me when you have things figured out.”

What confuses me is how he would say all these things but break it off with me. I knew what I signed up for when I started dating him. I was perfectly fine with it. I knew I wasn’t going to get the chance to spend as much time with him as I wanted to. I knew his job comes before me and I will never condone him for it. What hurts is that he was able to tell me he wanted to marry me when he came back but ends up breaking up with me. He has admitted that I treat him better than all his exes. So if I did treat him better, why would he leave?

After much talk with my guy friends, I’ve gotten a bit more insight. One of my guy friends who use to be in the military mentioned that maybe his battle buddies are influencing his thinking and telling him things such as “she’s gonna cheat while we’re away,” and such. I’m just wondering if there is ever a chance for us to happen again or if there comes a day where he comes to realization about how good he had it with me. I’ve been crying for the past two days since we’ve broken up. I really miss him but I won’t force something to happen if it’s not for me. Any advice out there or relations to what I’m going through?