Sexsomnia

(Trigger warning: this post involves sex/nonconsensual sex)

Hello everyone,

This is the first time I’ve written about anything on here, but I’ve come across a topic that I think I could use some more experiential information on.

I have reasonable belief that my boyfriend of three years experiences sexsomnia.

Things have happened in the past, he and I have woken up to wet spots in the bed but usually chalk it down to wet dreams. However, I’ve been paying more attention recently and I’ve been noticing the frequency with which these nighttime sex-related incidents happen. Very recently I’ve noticed that he’s been masturbating in his sleep more often, and he’s made sexual advances in the middle of the night for a while now.

A couple times, I have been woken up in the middle of the night or the early morning by my boyfriend attempting different forms of sexual acts. Sometimes I think he’s conscious, but other times I’m not so sure. My boyfriend and I have an understanding of each other’s sexual boundaries, so in our case, I was not so deeply disturbed by being woken up by sex.

I am mostly concerned for my boyfriend’s well being and possibly mine if this kind of behavior has been known to intensify or alter itself over time.

I would like to know if anyone else has any experiences with sexsomnia or partners with sexsomnia so that I can learn how to approach him about it, and not let it affect our relationship in a negative way.

I hope everyone can be understanding.

Thank you