3 Years

3 years ago today, I was sitting in the doctors office with a recommendation for induction which my OB decided to ignore because my son was sitting too high which increased the CHANCE of a c section. I had an ultrasound and he was measuring so big they were worried he’d get stuck if we waited any longer. It was the last time I saw my son alive. 3 days later, Christmas eve, I felt like I was on labor and quickly discovered he was gone. I can’t help but to feel angry at my OB for refusing to induce. There was no way they could have known he would die later that day but the fact is they ignored a recommendation that ultimately resulted in my son’s death. 3 years and the pain is still unbearable. It still hits me like they just told me there was no heartbeat. I wonder every day what he would be like now. Just needed to get that out. Christmas is so hard. 😥