Depression

I’m 15 1/2 weeks pregnant and I am so unbelievably depressed all the time. I have a two year old son and he is my pride and joy but lately I just feel like I’m a terrible mother when I know that I’m not but I can’t help it. I try to keep it together and fight the tears everyday. My SO just keeps telling me I need to see a shrink and be medicated and that makes me feel so much worse. Men are clueless to feelings and it’s like he doesn’t believe me with everything I’m going through like I’m being dramatic. I’m diagnosed bipolar II and obviously I can’t be medicated while pregnant. It’s very very hard for me to cope. I would never kill myself but I’m in a very dark place. I feel huge and ugly and it doesn’t help that my SO is constantly telling me what I should wear and how I should do my hair and makeup to look better and I feel like garbage. Sorry for the rant I just need some support